Updated: May 3, 2021
How to avoid losing yourself to motherhood
There is more to motherhood than just meeting the needs of your children. Yes, that is definitely a priority. But you can’t pour from an empty glass.
Here is a list of practical advice to help you make yourself a priority.
Self care self care self care. Yes this is a buzzword lately, but it is essential to take care of yourself which can mean something different to each person.
Meditation!!! (Check out my free meditation album to get you started)
Epsom Salt Baths
Know when you need a break, and find a way to get that time out. Get creative. During a pandemic our creativity super powers need to be on supercharge, but its possible. Even if it means scheduling tablet time for your kids so you can meditate and take a bubble bath. I love the amazon fire tablet for setting up a safe tablet experience for younger kids, as they get older, you can switch to an ipad and set up some good screen limits. I love apps like ABC mouse, Epic, Starfall, and Prodigy. If you want some safe video apps, PBS kids video and Amazon Prime (with a kids profile).
Make yourself a priority, schedule time for yourself. What feeds you, what are your needs.
Journal- who are you, what are your passions, what do you enjoy doing. There are some great self prompting journals if you need some help getting started.
Create a self care routine, stick to it, honor yourself, youre a goddess and treat your body like a temple (check out passion planner)
Meditate- did I say meditate? Well its really important! Even if you just sit in quiet for 5-10 minutes. If you can wake up early, great! If not, no worries, you can still sneak it in and reap the benefits.
If you have a super supportive/schedule flexible partner that can help you schedule time for yourself, then you are one lucky gal. If not, its still possible!
Never take any one persons advice! There are so many opinions out there and so much contradicting information. Find someone to bounce ideas off of. Like a friend consultant. I have a personal friend consultant, Holly, and she is always my sounding board.
The ability to make yourself a priority will vary by age of your children, but it is still possible to make yourself a priority at all stages of motherhood. The earliest stages are the hardest. The newborn stage is rough and usually self care looks more like a nap, a shower, letting the house go a bit (not making yourself live up to unrealistic standards). As they get older, you find more time, more routine, and more predictability, and in that routine is when you schedule time for yourself. Its hard in the newborn stage, but you can schedule time for your partner to watch the baby so you can take a nice bath, a nap, or whatever fills your cup. My partner wasn’t able to help much in the newborn months, so after I had my second child, I hired a postpartum doula. She was an angel. She cared for the newborn while I played with my toddler, or took a nap, or whatever I needed that day. I highly recommend a doula for the postpartum stage.
During a pandemic has been a completely different challenge. I am now a teacher and a mother, in addition to being a human with my own needs. One of my daughter's requires special services from the school, which I was now required to meet those needs. And my youngest daughter was recovering from severe health issues after a vaccine injury. Talk about juggling a lot. I spent my nights researching lesson plans, learning about phonics, digraphs, planning outdoor activities, and arts and crafts in addition to all of the other tasks required of a mother (meal planning, cooking those meals, cleaning the house, and taking care of the kids) and human (trying to understand and digest and integrate an understanding of all of the information coming from the various media outlets and scientific journals). Trying to find time for me has been an ever evolving pursuit. It always comes back to routine. Routine, routine, routine.
Routine is good for the kids too. They have a predictable schedule which saves brain power, brain reserve. This allows them to have mental reserves from which they can better regulate their behavior and emotions.
Happy mothering friends!